


[podfic + text] The Voice In The Computer

by luftnarp-podfic (secretsofluftnarp), luftnarp-writing (secretsofluftnarp), secretsofluftnarp



Category: Craig - Fandom, Podfic Fandom, The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Episode Style, Other, Podfic, Podfic Length: 0-10 Minutes, Sound Effects, podficcer OC, spooky computer, this is clearly silliness but also clearly set during season 1 of The Magnus Archives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:40:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28517301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretsofluftnarp/pseuds/luftnarp-podfic, https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretsofluftnarp/pseuds/luftnarp-writing, https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretsofluftnarp/pseuds/secretsofluftnarp
Summary: Statement of Rachel Westbrook, regarding the entity known as Craig.
Comments: 15
Kudos: 14
Collections: Voiceteam Mystery Box 2020





	[podfic + text] The Voice In The Computer

**length:** 8:11

 **[stream or download mp3 here](https://luftnarp.kalindalittle.com/TheVoiceInTheComputer.mp3)**  


The Voice In The Computer. A Magnus Archives fanfic, inspired by the fandom for the discord bot Craig. Written and recorded by secretsofluftnarp.

[INTRO MUSIC]

[TAPE RECORDER CLICKS ON]

JON: Statement of Rachel Westbrook, recorded second of January, 2016. Statement taken directly from subject, regarding -- sorry, what is this regarding?

RACHEL: Regarding an unwanted presence.

JON: I'm sorry to hear that. Go ahead, whenever you're ready.

RACHEL: So, my friends and I, we record things. For fun.

JON: (skeptically) Fun.

RACHEL: No, sorry, that came out creepy. We record stories. Fiction. Audio drama kind of stuff.

JON: Ah. I'm familiar.

RACHEL: And it was really cool. I felt so welcomed by the community, which is especially good if you're like me, and you're living in a foreign country for the first time, and making new friends isn't as easy as you thought it was going to be.

So a lot of this, um, audio drama community, we meet online. We can record together, teach each other how to create and edit audio, listen to each other's work, and generally cheer each other on. It was a really creatively fulfilling pastime in what was otherwise a pretty rough period of my life.

JON: So what happened?

RACHEL: Craig happened.

JON: And who's Craig? Full names, if you will.

RACHEL: He doesn't have a full name. Craig isn't a person. He's a bot.

JON: A what?

RACHEL: Sorry, I suddenly realize it's going to be really difficult to explain Discord server bots to a guy who uses an analog tape recorder. Shit, sorry, why did I say that out loud? Craig is -- he's like a piece of recording equipment. We use something like a chatroom to record online, and we invite Craig into the chat too, to record us.

And at first it was no problem. I mean, it was a little bit creepy, but it worked well, all my audio files came out pretty good. Craig would enter and leave the chat when we told him to. My friends and I, we did start to wonder who Craig was supposed to be -- he looked kind of like a cartoon bear, maybe a weasel, with these big, round, unblinking eyes. Although I guess it would be way more creepy if Craig did blink, because that's definitely not supposed to happen.

Then Craig started to glitch. At least, that's what we thought was happening. He would enter and leave the chat at weird times, when nobody asked him to. He's a bot. He's just automated software programmed to do a very specific thing, and he's only supposed to be able to do what people tell him to do. We got in touch with tech support, told them about the glitch, and they didn't know what we were talking about. Which is super weird, lots of people use this software, you'd think someone else would have noticed and reported if it was glitching so much.

And then it wasn't just my fun, podfic recording Discord server where Craig would show up. He showed up in servers I'm in that didn't have anything to do with recording, that shouldn't even have had Craig enabled. I tried bringing this up to the people I was chatting with, and they had no idea what I was talking about. Craig would start recording, randomly, in other conversations I was having online, and for some reason I was the only person who noticed.

My friends aren't trolls. They aren't the type of people who would mess with someone just for the sake of messing with them. It really seemed like I was the only person who could see or hear Craig.

That wasn't a good feeling. Like I was being watched, or listened to, no matter where I went.

Because it started to extend beyond Discord. I'd be minding my own business, listening to music, and then there's Craig, announcing that he's recording in my iTunes folder. I'd be watching a silly clip on YouTube, trying to take my mind off things, and there's an image of Craig right in the middle of the video, mouth on his microphone, waiting for me. I started getting really paranoid, because not only was this not supposed to be happening, it was happening at random. I saw Craig in an instagram story and almost threw my computer across the room. None of this made any sense.

I would turn off my computer to go to sleep, and I would see those cold round eyes in my mind. Watching. Listening.

Then one day Craig was just...there. He wasn't part of any program, he was just part of my computer now, and there was nothing I could do about it. I asked everyone I knew with any technical ability for help, and they couldn't see the problem. My computer would be off and the microphone would blink on, the 'recording' voice would start, like it had a mind of its own. I'm halfway convinced it does have a mind of its own.

JON: You're saying your computer's haunted.

RACHEL: Yeah, that's...exactly what I'm saying.

JON: Well, I'm sorry to hear that, Ms. Westbrook. I think that given that this all seems to have taken place on your personal computer, there is a limited amount of follow-up that we can do. However, I will have the assistants look into it, and see if we can find people who have had similar experiences, and let you know what we find either way.

CRAIG: Now Recording.

JON: Sorry? You're recording? You can't record in here.

RACHEL: That's what I've been saying. I'm not the one recording. Craig is.

JON: (hearing Martin outside and going to the door) Martin! Martin, can you go get Sasha? We have a...technical issue.

MARTIN: (flustered) Jon! Hi, Jon. Don't hate me for saying this but -- are you okay?

JON: (much too intensely) I'm fine. I just have...a situation, most likely a technical glitch, that I require someone with more technical expertise in order to dispel.

MARTIN: I could take a look --

JON: Please. Get Sasha.

MARTIN: (walking off and muttering) _he is so needlessly mean sometimes_

JON: Ms. Westbrook, in the event that our computer person cannot resolve your issue, I will see to it that we can get you a loaner device.

RACHEL: And what happens to my computer?

JON: (reluctantly) You computer would be taken into Artifact Storage.

RACHEL: So like, where you keep the haunted books.

JON: (sighing) Yes, where we keep the haunted books. Among other things.

RACHEL: Because my computer's haunted.

JON: (very reluctantly) If it...continues to appear...that your computer is haunted. (Pause) End recording.

[TAPE RECORDER CLICKS OFF]

[END MUSIC]

**Author's Note:**

> There is a Craig in the Archive. The situation is not ideal.
> 
> Outro recorded under a duvet, for extra Magnus Archives Season 1 vibes.
> 
> Notes:  
> My self-insert OC is not explaining podfic/fandom to the Archivist unless he makes me, and that dude does _not_ care.
> 
> There is a pretty good case for Craig as a Beholding monster (we don't know if he can see you but he does HAVE eyes, and, like, surveillance powers? If you Craig really hard you get a Beholding.)


End file.
